The singer has launched her first product with German sex toy company Womanizer
Lily Allen has come a long way since she burst onto the Brit pop scene in 2005. From her chart-topping debut single “Smile” to becoming the queen of Myspace; her subsequent hedonistic ride through stardom and the tabloid drama that followed; her addictions; her depression; her divorce from her first husband and the later sobriety.
“There’s a lot of destructive stuff that happens in our twenties, feelings get hurt, and egos – it can be a mess,” Allen tells me over Facetime. She’s sitting in her apartment in LA, which she shares with new husband David Harbour (as in, Jim Hopper from Stranger Things), and, naturally, we’re talking about sex. “Culturally, in Britain, you’re sort of practiced on as a young person where sex is concerned,” she says. “If we can get women into a habit of learning about themselves, what their likes and dislikes are, and communicate them to their partners, it can only be a good thing.”
The singer has just launched her first-ever product with German sex toy company Womanizer – presumably to capitalise on the lockdown-induced soar in sex toy sales. The Liberty is lightweight, discreet, and, according to Allen, “completely different” to anything you’ve tried before. She describes how sex toys helped break “the barrier of intimacy with myself”. “I’d resigned myself to the idea that I was going to be one of those people who never had orgasms,” she explains. “Then there came a point where I felt that I can’t miss out on this thing any longer.” Now, Allen wants to share the love with everyone: “I want people to feel comfortable giving themselves the time and space to make themselves feel good and have these conversations in an unashamed way.”
Below, Allen talks about her changing sex life, having her first orgasm, and vibrating dildos at the airport.
I wouldn’t normally start an interview like this, but when was the first time you orgasmed?
Lily Allen: It wasn’t until my mid-twenties. I wasn’t very committed to self-love in that part of my life. Like, I’d never reached climax with a partner, probably because I was so drunk when sleeping with people that I became desensitised to feeling something.
When it came to masturbation, I wasn’t persistent enough, I just gave up. I felt weird trying to give myself pleasure, it didn’t feel like something that felt natural to me. Then I discovered sex toys and it broke the barrier of intimacy with myself.
How has self-pleasure changed your relationship dynamics?
Lily Allen: (Not masturbating) made me resent men a lot more because I felt like it was their responsibility to make me cum and they weren’t doing it for me. It was like, ‘how dare they’, ‘do they not care about me’. But you have to care about yourself and communicate what you need, and what gets you off in a relationship. Since I’ve been masturbating regularly, it’s changed my sex life considerably.
“I’d resigned myself to the idea that I was going to be one of those people who never had orgasms. Then there came a point where I felt that I can’t miss out on this thing any longer” – Lily Allen
Have you received any feedback since the sex toy release?
Lily Allen: I’ve had a couple of DMs where it’s just like, ‘Oh My God’, so it’s been really good. Before I launched this product, I was buying these toys for my friends anyway and I’ve never had a disappointed friend.
Do you remember the first time you bought a sex toy?
Lily Allen: Not really because I don’t remember a lot from that period of my life. But I remember it was on the Reeperbahn in Hamburg. I was on tour and I went into a sex shop to get clothes – those all-in-one bodystockings that look a bit like string vests, but lycra. I wanted to wear one on stage and so I was in this shop, in a spendy mood, and ended up buying a bunch of sex toys, went onto my tour bus, charged them all, and the rest is history.
What about any sex toy horror stories?
Lily Allen: I keep all my sex toys in what looks like wash bags that are quite similar to my hair stylist Jake’s wash bags, and when I’m on tour, the dressing room becomes an array of bags within bags within bags. One time, he said that he got home, opened up one of his wash bags, and it was just a bag of dildos. Poor Jake. I’m also pretty sure I’ve had bags vibrating at airports, but nothing too horrifying.
What are your thoughts on other celebrity sexual wellness ventures like Goop?
Lily Allen: People get celebrities to sell anything, don’t they? What I’m enjoying about this project is that over the last ten years, as music has been devalued, it’s hard for artists, or any industries where your product exists on the internet, to make money. We’ve been pushed into this realm of selling things. There’s so many opportunities that have come my way but truth and honesty is so central to what I do. What I’m seeing with this product is that people are really connecting to it. I feel pleased with myself that I stuck to my guns and haven’t been flogging shit for the last ten years.
“In Britain, you’re sort of practiced on as a young person where sex is concerned. There’s a lot of destructive stuff that happens in our twenties, feelings get hurt, and egos – it can be a mess” – Lily Allen
What do you hope will come out of this release?
Lily Allen: People having lots of regular orgasms (laughs). I want people to feel comfortable giving themselves the time and space to make themselves feel good and have these conversations in an unashamed way.
Culturally, in Britain, you’re sort of practiced on as a young person where sex is concerned. There’s a lot of destructive stuff that happens in our twenties, feelings get hurt, and egos – it can be a mess. If we can get women into a habit of learning about themselves, what their likes and dislikes are, and communicate them to their partners, it can only be a good thing.
What are your plans next?
Lily Allen: I’d love to continue this relationship with Womaniser, maybe experiment with the other products. In terms of myself and my creativity, I’m working on an album, and who knows what will be going on with coronavirus and concerts, but I’m focusing on getting my next album done, a few other musical projects too. I might go back to school.
Planning on going cyber?
Law, maybe? If I was to get a law degree, I’d probably be 45 before I could practice but that could be quite fun for the next bit of life.